Now I get it …

There are many jokes and cliches about Crossfit. My favorite is the shortest …’A Crossfitter walked into a bar..’ Yep, that is it. That is the joke. I get it because I go to Crossfit now and like the other cliche, I talk about it a lot. My husband, Casey and I talk about it, we compare our efforts with a hint of pride, whine about how hard it was, but then marvel at how far we have come.
I can see how we may be really annoying. I was already annoying to many as the British Advocare lady, now add Crossfit to the mix and I am a disillusioned, Obama hating middle American’s worst nightmare. (As for my British counterparts, they no doubt roll their eyes and see me as being so American now.)
That’s ok though, you don’t have to like me, you don’t have to be impressed by me and you certainly don’t have to understand me. You may judge me if that helps. I am super judgy, so I get that.. I am working on it, honestly I am. Because Tony Robbins says something along the lines of ..’You can’t influence anyone you are judging..’

Why would I want to influence anyone? If you have read any of these blogs you will have learned that I am a co-dependent. I have worked hard to channel that defect into a positive trait. I know that in the past 4 years, the challenges I have faced personally, have only served to strengthen me and educate me. What I do to reach my goals professionally and physically is driven by a desire to be better than I was. To not go backwards and instead to leave a legacy. My legacy may not be Steve Jobs-esque, but I pray that it is one that my children will speak of with pride.

And with that, I know that I am not the only person on the face of this earth who wants to leave more than they took from here. I know that deep down, the person who has already weighed themselves 3 times today and is still not happy, wants more, wants a solution. The man who is sitting at his desk on a conference call, who would rather be spending time with his family,  to the person who just got really sucky news from a Doctor or a family member, they all want more.

It isn’t a materialistic more, it isn’t a superficial more, but can we truly identify what it is? We cry out over social media over the anguish this world brings on a daily basis. The passion and anger we have for political leaders, for sports teams, for law enforcement, for racial and gender equality..for a ridiculous phone app…#pokeNo …Yet while we champion these causes (as worthy as 99% of them are), what are we doing to better ourselves, to provide more for our families? Is this the ‘more’. I don’t think so.

You don’t have time to workout? You don’t have time to build a plan B income? Really? Get off Social Media for a while, drop the reality tv. Schedule time for you. Schedule time for your family.

I will say this, when I went looking for more, I found it. It wasn’t what I was expecting. I found friendship. I found encouragers, I found wellness, I found time, I found energy, I found strength, I found faith, I found hope. I know you’re looking, but maybe you’re looking in the wrong place? Do something to improve you today and maybe you will change your tomorrows. Is that an original quote? You should tweet that, or at least hashtag it. Your change may not look the same as mine, but I can almost guarantee you need to make one!

If you want to chat, comment politely and I will reach out. If you are looking for an awesome Crossfit box in Wilmington, check out Crossfit Inside Out ..and if you are looking for extra income and/ or nutrition, my website is www.portcityadvocare.com

As ever,

Bianca

Fix it.

As a self confessed co-dependent, I have come to my most recent epiphany no less than 678 times. I am ending this year, with a focus on me. That sentence could well have read, ‘starting this year..’ ‘approaching my birthday…’ or some other milestone that coincides nicely with this effort.

To be fair, its not that I fail with these personal challenges, merely that I can distracted or thrown off course by my constant urge to fix other people, lest I have to get uncomfortable with my own goals. As it is, living in a house with a recovering alcoholic & manic-depressive husband (albeit managed), you can see how my determination to serve my own needs rather than others can be taxing to say the least.

So, today I am writing it down to reinforce my will and effort. I will spend the foreseeable future (90 days at least) ‘fixing’ me. I will fix my physical health, I will fix my finances, I will fix my co-dependency, I will fix my spirituality, I will fix my fears. By doing this, I will become stronger on so many levels. I will be triumphant against the constant battle against inadequacy that we all face on some level. I won’t strive for perfection, instead I will focus on consistency; doing the little things daily that lead to a successful greater good.

The quote is ‘You don’t have to be great to start, you just have to start…’ 

I am not full of joy as I write this post, in fact you could say the opposite. What I am full of, is determination and grit. I can do my absolute best to improve as a Mother, a wife, a friend or a leader, but if inside I am not the epitome of all that I strive to become, I fall flat. I must be resolute in my goals and persist without exception if I am to be successful. The question was asked earlier today…’Yeah, but then what..?’ I honestly don’t know, other than move on to the next goal with a sense of achievement and a vision for the future. I think there is a proverb that speaks to this ..’without vision, the people perish..’

It’s true, we die a little each day if we are simply killing time while locked in mediocrity. If only I could compel those closest to me to feel the same way, but there I go again, wishing or trying to fix others. It sounds so simple if you say it out loud, but to put it in to practice for myself, is another matter entirely.

Don’t get the wrong idea as you read this. I am not wallowing in self pity or battling demons of depression. I am simply holding myself accountable, because it for sure isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. Gratitude is something we acknowledge and often practice, but typically only in times of angst. In my effort to fix myself spiritually, I will be intentional and vocal when it comes to gratitude. I don’t know what you believe, nor do I care particularly, but I believe that we are not in control and that we must hand over the control to our Higher Power, to God. I need to hand it over and hang on to my list of instructions that go with it. Because if I give it up, with conditions, that isn’t giving it up or handing it over. This is the hardest ‘fix it’ on my list and it is where I will begin.

Fiber, fear and family

Forgive me for it has been some time since my last blog, house moves, family and travel filling my time.  I need to refocus on me and here comes my accountability. (you have to read that in a confession type voice..I do these explanations for my friend Whitney, she does that ALL the time) #notevencatholic

I am starting a cleanse today. I haven’t done a cleanse in some time, in fact I have done my best to do the opposite of cleanse. However, true to my positive attitude, my perspective on this is that I was simply preparing my body for optimal results during this cleanse.  Some are fearful of a cleanse, worried that it will result in grievous bodily functions and embarrassment or even restrict their ability to ‘have fun’ by which I mean eat copious amounts of junk food washed down by adult beverages. This in fact is true, you can’t eat junk food washed down by your pseudo diet beer while cleansing, or at least you if you did you most certainly wouldn’t be successful. Therein lies the fear, the fear of self change. I have learned over the past few years with Advocare, that fear is our biggest enemy, not only in our business, but personally and professionally.  It can paralyze a person, myself included.

How do we get past it? Well it requires daily effort.  Let me elaborate; this cleanse, why am I doing it? Because I actually like to feel good, I like the results. I like that I feel energized, that my nails grow, my skin glows and that bloat and inflammation dissipates. But I would be lying if I didn’t tell you last night I finished every last potato chip and malteser (english chocolate) in this house,  oh and there was cheese there too, lots of cheese, but I own that,  I carry no guilt over cheese, I wasn’t cheating or bingeing (well maybe a little bit of bingeing) because I like food, but I also understand balance.

I spent my whole life on a diet before Advocare, all I cared about was calories in calories out, made no difference whatsoever where those calories came from.  Some days it was simply grapes and crackers, when I say grapes, I mean wine, but I was under my calorie goal.  I had to change that, I had to relearn how nutrition works, how my body responds to great nutrition and I had to get uncomfortable.  So I totally relate to new people on this journey, you show me how far I have come and I understand your fear of change.

When I talk about this lifestyle, people often get that deer in the headlights look when we talk about long term wellness and supplementation. My husband makes a valid point; as someone who suffers with anxiety, he openly acknowledges the thought of having to brush his teeth every single day for the rest of his life can be overwhelming,  so why overthink it? Same goes for wellness, I mean,  what is your alternative? Is what you are doing sustainable? I find ways to say yes,  instead of constantly saying no..that’s why I cleanse, that’s why I do this. And that is why I help other people see and feel the value in that.  Truth be told, in spite of most of the population seeking more energy & weight loss only a select few have the fortitude to make the kind of change we champion, most will opt for some quick fix magic pill or drastic elimination option that isn’t sustainable, because they aren’t addressing the fear within.

Cleansing is the a perfect example of this and awakens the fear to startling proportions, you drink fiber every day for 10 days. There are different flavors and unflavored, one is the nemesis of many, that one is my favorite.  My peers will relate to the complaints I hear of its texture or taste. Yet, I think it tastes like pulpy orange juice and I like it. I liken these complaints to the fear seeping out through your mouth. This is your inner self telling you to ‘Quit, give up, long term wellness isn’t such a big deal, you’ll do ok living on boxed dinners and take out, you could keep giving that to your kids too, because it doesn’t matter and it’s all they’ll eat so that makes it ok , like why should I change, I am fine, I will just eliminate all carbs from my diet and eat sausage and that will make me drop weight, gotta be easier than this surely.’  And so they give up before the first fiber is even in the gut.

The how you get past it part is actually pretty simple, its not easy, but its simple. Family.

You may be single, you may not have the 2.4 kids and a house in the ‘burbs, but you do have family. That family might be your dog. it might be your best friend or your parents or your cousin or your aunt. Regardless, there is someone out there who thinks you are pretty awesome, wants you around and wants you to be happy.  Focus on that, focus on how your self change can be a beacon for someone else who is struggling, who has fears just like you and me. Have that be your driving force to chug that fiber, or go to work at your crappy job to pay the bills, but in the meantime, be working on you. Every minute, hour or day that you take time to become a better you, YOU are helping someone else. This is not selfish, this is a fact.

On an airplane, if it loses cabin pressure who do they tell you to put the oxygen mask on first? Even before your kids (as a parent you are like WTF?)  but that’s because if you aren’t breathing, you can’t help your kids. Stop hiding behind fear, dig deep and find your purpose, your own reason to be a better you and take the steps to accomplish that. If it is getting out of debt, don’t stress about telling your kids no to the soda at the end cap of the grocery store (it’s bad for them anyway), you have a budget, stick to it. If it is to improve wellness, lose weight, get more energy, stick to that program, choose the right foods. If it is to grow a plan b income to the point where you can go to EVERY baseball, gymnastics, football, swim meet your kids ever do, then DO that …don’t let the FEAR tell you NO.

I watch the English sitcom  ‘Miranda’  when I need a laugh,  my daughters and I have latched on the to catchphrase bit of  ‘what have you done today to make you feel proud…’  (I can just see most of you clicking this 7 second link and being very confused, much like my husband when I subject him to British humour and tv shows as my guilty pleasure.)  But that’s the litmus test right there, if at the end of the day you can ask yourself, ‘If I was my own boss (boss of life, boss of work etc) would I have been happy with today? Or would I have fired me? ‘

Make yourself proud, don’t listen to fear, its a bitch.  Life on the other hand, is beautiful and it is a gift, so take a minute to revel in that and enjoy it by being the best you ever. If only for the next hour and when you have done that,  do it again.

 

Where are your shoes?

Yesterday I was rear ended.  Fortunately I was not injured and my Chelsea tractor Land Rover survived the rolling bump of the brand new rink dinky Buick too. I would like to think the lady was busy checking out my Advocare logo on the rear window, but I think in reality she was checking Facebook.

It was post school drop off , we were stopped at the light when the thud happened. I had the typical reaction of someone who has just been rear ended, ‘what the f…’ and got out to survey the damage….At nearly 42 years old you can imagine that this is not the first time this has happened to me, all with varying degrees of severity. Funnily enough this is the 2nd school drop off incident, different school, but the culprit practically identical. She was barefoot and pajama clad, well not flannel fluffy pj, but in that grey sweats just let me get out the door kinda pj way. Previously I remember this happening and the culprit had on GIANT fluffy slippers, I remember being so distracted by the slippers that any damage to my car was not noticed. Similar thing yesterday. I just remember thinking, its 22 degrees, freezing  cold and you are in pjs and BAREFOOT …again, WHAT THE F&(K ?

I am not judging, well that’s a lie, I am totally judging. But it made me think, what was her morning like? Is that typical for her, did she leave the scene relieved and thankful that there was no damage or injuries? Or did she just go back to her phone and not give it a second thought? I am kicking myself that I didn’t take the opportunity to share a Spark with her, because seriously,  what had her so distracted that she couldn’t put shoes on or a coat when she took her kid to school?

I didn’t, because ironically, I was so distracted by her bare feet. I have a thing about feet, shoes, footwear in general ..I don’t know where that comes from …it’s not a fetish thing, God forbid. It’s just where the ‘judgy’ part of me is ..I am sorry, but yes I am checking out your shoes whenever we meet. In fact, not that our Pastor would remember, but I am pretty sure the first thing I said to him when we first met wasn’t ‘great message today, thank you’  It was actually ..’hey I love your shoes..’  they were some lovely Cole-Haan Oxford’s with bright soles, I could probably talk about all his shoes for days …but I digress.

I guess the point of this post is, how you react to anything will absolutely determine the trajectory of your day. And opportunities present themselves every day for you to impact someone in a positive or in a negative way. Although I didn’t share a potential solution with her, I did handle what happened with grace. Hopefully, she went on to have a good day and didn’t end it with a ‘COULD THIS DAY BE ANY WORSE? WHERE”S MY WINE’ post on Facebook. I hate those kinds of posts, they frustrate me on many levels. ‘Vaguebooking’, self-serving, wallowing. They are ALMOST as bad as those stupid game invitations (don’t tell me you don’t have time when you waste so much time with that nonsense). Probably as bad as me sharing my awesome solution and positivity with those who think I do ‘one of those things’ so I guess we are all guilty on some level. (Which incidentally I do not, in fact if you really knew what I did, I am pretty sure you would do anything to do it too. ) (Thanks RR) 

I hope that didn’t happen, I hope her day was ok and that she was able to get some shoes on. I don’t think this is the end of this lady or this encounter. God has a sense of humor and funny stuff happens all the time. Funny ha ha and funny peculiar. So watch this space, because I think there is more to come. It may be that I run into her in Rack Room or it may be something else.  I know she has a brand new car, I hope she doesn’t have a $500 a month car payment, but then again maybe that is why she didn’t have shoes on for the school run, stressing about the car payment perhaps….or maybe everything in her life is perfect…..maybe I will never know. I do know that today, I will not miss an opportunity if it arises.

I had better go and choose my shoes, you never know who you may ‘run’ into.

Date Night

It’s Friday night and the last day of our All in Advocare 24 day challenge. You know what that means? It means it is time to get FREAKY and have what the grown ups call, ‘date night’. I am not sure if genesis of this term comes from marital counsellors or from that bad Steve Carrell and Tina Fey movie, but either way, it exists and is what those of us rebelling against middle age, commonly refer to as our 2 hour window away from the children.

Now the pressure is on to figure out how we can best utilize this opportunity. Do we take the time to go and get something productive done, alone? Or my personal favorite , go out to eat. I love food. I love it even more when washed down by a dirty martini…so I am pretty sure that will trump the date night at Home Depot option. Vodka trumps chainsaws every day in my book.

Now,  for the past 24 days with one exception, we have been clean eating, alcohol free model challengers, but the whole point of our Advocare lifestyle is to do life in a realistic way and to find ways to say yes. I will pop a couple of carb ease and opt for a quality, freshly prepared supper at one of the gastronomical delights that we have here in Wilmington.

As I read this, I sense that my focus is more on food and drink rather than quality time with Casey. I do not wish to give the wrong impression. Time with my husband is great, he makes me laugh;  He is sexy, smart, dorky and he is mine, even more wonderful, he loves me, which. is. awesome. Because I think I can be hard to love. I carry a whole host of baggage,  with deference to my British roots, that is stuffed away and not to be discussed;  As such this blog walks a dangerously fine line between transparency and self-deprecation.

In the interest of transparency,  I will share something with you all.  Fellow females, can I get a high-five if you’re with me?  …I honestly cannot believe that Casey thinks I am beautiful, sexy or smart..well maybe smart, but the rest of it, to say out loud, makes me cringe. Have you seen my husband? He looks like the offspring of a beautiful coupling of Josh Duhamel and Rich Froning. I do not resemble anyone hot or famous. I can play the English card, my eyes are pretty cool. (Dawn Funk told me that I had beautiful eyes. Advo people will know who she is, my friends will know how giddy that compliment made me.) But in spite of my best efforts to exercise daily, eat clean and surround myself with positive affirmations, I am less than thrilled with the following …my legs are too short, I hate my knees, my sisters called me thunder thighs my entire youth, (#scarred), I have a crooked face in photos thanks to a car accident in 1987, I do have good hair (thanks Rachel Childs) and I am pretty sure I am 2 inches shorter than I was 10 years ago.

Typically I don’t share these thoughts, because I am all to aware that I must not give my daughters permission to EVER think like that about themselves. Some might say, I am sharing these thoughts as a way to fish for compliments. ‘Don’t be silly Bianca, your legs are not too short..’  I’m not, and honestly you could all say it all day long and I still would just nod and say ..aww thanks …I suppose the question becomes, How does this happen to us, when does it happen to us and why does it happen to us? Is it simply society and the airbrushed magazine? Comparison being the root of all things evil? Should I even raise this subject when my faith tells me that I am accepted and loved? It is a constant battle.

I first remember feeling inadequate at school in England. I was 9, many have heard this story before. We had lived in Florida for a few years and returned to a village in England when my Mum had her fill of the Sunshine State and my Father’s escapades ….so we went back to Blighty, place of my birth.  I was talking to all y’all villagers in that ‘American Fashion’ ..(which lasted about 36 hours)  I was mocked and ridiculed by the other children and the evil dinner lady Mrs. Dedman- her words were, ‘everything was alright until you got here’ …I can still hear her Sussex twang, how was that worse than my southern charm? I am not sure what prompted her statement. I can’t imagine I was the poster child for anything at that time in my life, but her words cut me to the core and have stayed with me ever since.  Until that moment,  I am pretty sure I thought I was, ‘the shit’ , but apparently I was just the little ‘American Brat’ in her Calvin Klein’s ..

Honestly, I have gotten over that and when I look back now, although it did hurt and it did affect me, it also taught me how not to act and how not to treat others. So there Mrs.Dedman you miserable…..

That being said,  how do we get past scar tissue? How do we live in the moment,  and how do I not worry that my too short legs are going to turn Casey off in the heat of the moment, even if slightly buzzed from date night? Yes I have stepped in puddles deeper than that sentiment.   Young readers and my parents, avert your eyes as I talk about sex for a minute .. Not that these insecurities are all about sex. I should realize that as a man, it is doubtful that he is considering any area of my body as inadequate when in the throes of sex, instead he’s in the throes of sex and if anything, thinking about computer code so as he can last for an acceptable length of time.  If I were a cartoonist, I would illustrate the thought bubbles for men and women during sex, for us the insecurities are listed like groceries, for guys, well it isn’t that.  I would actually like to hear from you on this topic. Yes you, my peers, is it just me who thinks like this? Or am I normal …oh crap now I am enabling my want to compare, it is like a vicious circle …I don’t want to be normal, but I also don’t want to be a freak. And this is why I should stick to my British reserve, stiff upper lip, instead of date nights and stiff ……drinks 😉

Cheers!

Heart of a Champion

What is a champion?  Why do I use that word daily? For years I was like most people in this world. Stuck in the ‘if only’ mindset ..you know ..if only I could get a raise, if I only I could be appreciated for my efforts, if only I could win the lottery….. I was about as far removed from a  champion as you could possibly get.  Unless of course you consider being the Queen of self entitlement a champion.

Things are different now,  now I am an ardent defender of my cause. That is just one definition of a champion.  I realized that as a Mother I needed to do more than just know my children came first. I had to intentionally acknowledge that I would change for my children, that I could  look them in the eye and tell them, yes, you ARE worth fighting for and no this ‘normal’ is not good enough for you.

I am by no means, Mother of the Year. I have been called to pick up my children from school on more than one occasion, because I forgot to pick them up …lost in a task and not noticing the time. You won’t find me in Hobby Lobby buying craft supplies, in fact, is that where you even get that kind of stuff?  Funny story, I worked for this guy once who was in charge of his sons while his wife was on a girls trip…he called into a meeting and was on his way to Pottery Barn with his kids, I asked why, he said he thought it would be cool to buy a pottery wheel and do crafts with his kids …I kid you not. I am not that bad, but I am not crafty, not in an arty way anyway.

What I am though, is the Mum that my daughters can come to when feeling anxious or distressed over school drama, how best to do their hair, or what classic music to add to their playlist. I am the Mum who at every given opportunity will turn the music up and dance around the kitchen like it was 1989 at Gullivers Nightclub in Eastbourne. And I am the Mum who will punch fear in the face and get uncomfortable to share Advocare with a total stranger.  I am armed with Spark at all times, my daughters know the signs and will often prompt me with a nudge to the ribs.

What is Spark and what am I talking about? Well I don’t know what Spark would be for you, but for me it is the ability to be home with my daughters when they come home from school. It is being able to take my team of fellow champions and their families out to dinner, it is knowing that if my husband were ever to get laid off as he was once before, (after 10 years with the same company) that we will survive. It is seeing a friend who works a dangerous underpaid , thankless job having more time with his family and early retirement as a reality. It is for another, who as a single Mother can tell her son YES instead of NO when he wants them to ride bikes to school together. It is for the couple who wants to do more and give more to their community because they have the time and resources to do it; It is for champions everywhere.  So if I offer you a Spark, it may initially be for some energy to you, but in my heart it is for so much more. Because I have the heart of a champion, and maybe you do too.

That time again….

I typically enjoy Monday’s, because I am odd. I have the pleasure of working from home. I build champions, this happens by various mediums, typically all at the same time. Seriously, Monday’s are great when you get to do what I do for a living.

That being said, have you ever had one of those days when you just can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything that you told yourself you were doing to do? Well that was me yesterday and if I could have crawled back under the duvet I would have done. Although, I could have done, I didn’t even manage to that, slacker of all slackers. I did sweep my floors, because that is my obsession, I even did some laundry. I talked to my team mates, I called some new people and helped then. So why do I feel like I failed at yesterday?

I can only think it is because I have very high expectations for myself, you see we have a very short time on this earth and we need to make every second count. That is what we are told all the time, and that is what both fuels me and paralyzes me at the same time.

My husband is a Cancer Survivor, stage 4 lymphoma at 30 years old. He is 37 now, this is a very good thing. I still struggle daily to imagine what that must be like. Tomorrow we go to Duke for his 6 month check up and these trips fill me with fear and dread; I know they don’t do much for him either. Typically the 72 hours leading up to this appointment are all tense and weird and uncomfortable for everyone.

There is a giant Livestrong band wearing elephant sitting in the corner of the room. But at times like these, we must rely on our faith and ‘Give it up to God’. All signs point toward a successful all clear tomorrow, but nonetheless I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Maybe that is why yesterday was a wash. I didn’t have any losses, but I didn’t have any real wins either. Sometimes, our days are just like that. For many, their days are ALWAYS like that. So considering mine aren’t,  I must be truly grateful. My life is not ordinary. My family will experience a different life because of the choices we made 2 years ago to do something different. I am not where we need to be yet, but I know where we are going. I suppose the point of my post is this, and it is so very cliché,  life is short and every day is a gift. If you don’t like where you are right now, or where your future is headed, you must take control of it and change it. Because if you don’t, you will spend every day wishing you had started sooner, willing things to change.

For me, I need to just keep pushing forward and keep my eye on the prize. Help more people get the results they want and practice grace at every opportunity.  I should probably not be quite so hard on myself, because everybody needs a duvet day every once in a while.

Why?

The hardest part of coaching is breaking through someone’s self-imposed limitations. Being patient, kind and considerate is a challenge for me at the best of times. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a terrible mean hearted person, but I can be blunt, sometimes my filter is broken and oftentimes what I say in jest is taken with offense. Perhaps it is my accent, some things are truly lost in translation.

Here’s the thing, self change is the hardest of all. Years of insecurities, well up inside of us, taking over most of our rational thought space and tell us that we can’t change. That it is too hard, that it’s probably better not to try, that way we can’t possibly fail. I am going to tell you what hundreds of people smarter than me have already published, you only fail if you DON’T try.

Take responsibility for yourself, think about what you want to achieve and why it is important for you to achieve it. This is your ‘WHY’. Self helpers and gurus worldwide state their worth on this very notion.  If you don’t know why you want to do something beyond some whimsical it would be nice to lose 20lbs, run a half marathon, start my own business, become debt free etc ..then WHY should you even bother to start? None of these thins are particularly complex to do, but they aren’t easy.  A simple Google search will give you the steps to make any one of these things happen, the only variable is YOU.

So I suggest, that once you have the seeds of an idea, the inkling to change and do something different, that you first of all figure out WHY. Write that down, visualize what that looks like, what the achievement will mean to you, how will it affect you, your family, your friends, your dog….everything. Once you have that written down, drawn out and ingrained in your mind, think about it every day. If you don’t and if you don’t keep filling your tank with that vision, you will find it very hard to succeed. You will likely blame others for your inability to get to where you want to be. As a coach, that blame game sucks…I will give you the tools to be successful, but you have to build your own raft to get off your island of doubt. If you don’t engage and truly surrender to the process, I can’t help you. I can’t want it for you, only you can do that. But I can promise you this, I will lock arms with you, be your sounding block and hand you the nails when you are truly ready to set sail.

Spinning….

I haven’t worked out in a week. It’s not a bad thing, I’m not a gym bunny and honestly during my weight loss and wellness journey with Advocare my weakest link has always been exercise.

I started with the Can you 24 workout, it was effective, but given the eleventy billion animals I seem to have in my house I was easily distracted by dirty floors when attempting to work out at home. I am obsessed with vacuuming, sweeping and mopping. Really I should develop a workout around these chores and make my fortune.  But I digress, so I moved on from the at home workouts and joined the gym. I even hired a trainer. a super awesome one, his name is Bronson Apple. If you live in the Wilmington area, you should hire him too. It was then I really started to challenge myself and set physical goals that were more than inch loss or moving the scales ..it was about strength and achievements. I had to pause my Bronson expense and time when hit with a ridonkulous water bill. That is a story for another time. So as not to lose the momentum of training, I decided to utilize the free classes at Golds. I hate classes, I think they are stupid. I have no rhythm (although I used to) my coordination sucks and I don’t like to watch myself jiggling in the giant mirrors.

In spite of all these considerations my purpose and resolve was stronger,  so I challenged myself to a new class every day to find the one that may suit me and that would be my accountability partner.

I did Body Combat, Zumba, Power Pilates, Body Step, Body Pump, RPM and Yoga …yes I covered them all. Here’s a quick review ..Body combat, I am not that much of a badass, punching air is not for me, but it was in the dark so that was a win. Zumba, oh my word, have you seen that Planet Fitness commercial? Yea, that was my Zumba experience, the instructor was in her own latin parade, we were poor pathetic bystanders, running into each other like middle-aged bumper cars. Power Pilates, my first attempt at this was immediately post Zumba hell, I asked Aimee the instructor could I handle it…’remember this is your work, go with what you can..but it is POWER Pilates’ Having never taken a Pilates class before, the gauntlet had been dropped and I was determined to ‘be in my work’ . I nearly threw up, but I stuck it out and this is a class that made the cut for me. Body step, stupid, I left after 10 minutes to handle a phone call from Cher circa 1992 asking for her step class back. Body pump, who can be bothered with all that changing weights, more stopping and starting than a football game? RPM a bad trip, or was it? And yoga? Well who doesn’t like the whole downward dog, child’s pose thing?

Funnily enough though, RPM is really the one that got me hooked. A class that I had first taken some 14 years ago while subsisting on Camel Lights and red bull, (and I wondered why it was like a bad acid trip) …fast forward to now, in my middle age, stronger and healthier than ever, I found that riding that bike in the dark and sweating profusely was the most rewarding thing I could do.  I was hooked, I worked my way up to 3 classes a week. Once my lady parts had become accustomed to that brutal saddle, I was pushing myself further than ever before. It has changed my body, made me stronger when I lift weights and not to mention the endurance overall. My husband, Casey wants me to go on a real bike ride. That is not an option as this whole spinning thing is an eyes closed mind over matter experience, it’s not pleasurable, it is champion training. Making sure I finished what I started, wearing my Advocare colors,I am representing champions everywhere, so I cannot quit.

All of that being said, I took last week off, every day I felt guilty for not going to the gym and staking my claim on a bike. But I was tired, so I took a week off, continued to eat clean and drink gallon upon gallon of water. Today I am ready to go back, I will drink my Spark, take my O2 Gold and I will go to that class, I will likely break my vagina in the process and tomorrow my legs will hurt. But I am going to get back in the saddle because I am a champion and I cannot expect others to do what I won’t do myself. I don’t like going to the gym and working out, but I like what it does for me. Once I realized that, it all made so much more sense. So I challenge you, find something you can bear to do, watch how it affects your mind, your body and your heart and then keep doing it, over and over again. It will become a habit and somewhere inside of you, you will actually enjoy an element of that, which is what will keep you going.

It’s only weird if you make it weird ….

It was suggested to me that I take my never-ending stream of text conversations and turn them into a blog. I should back up somewhat here and explain what my never-ending stream of texts pertain to and why on earth that would be of interest to anyone else.

You see, I coach people. Life coach kind of stuff, weight loss, emotional baggage, general sounding block …these words of wisdom come from years of life experience, time in ‘the rooms’ of AA, Al Anon, weight watchers and more recently life groups at church. We will get to how out of character that last one would appear to anyone who knew me before BC.

From the results my friends get, I would say my approach works. Perhaps it is my no-nonsense British sensibilities that cuts through the touchy feely bullshit of most others, but in spite of the risk I run daily of offending an unsuspecting challenger, I truly do have a heart to help others. Honestly, the co dependent in me longs to rescue and save people, but along the way I help myself. I am filled with pride every time I receive a message of thanks or see the non scale victories shared on Facebook and instagram.

And so to the purpose of this blog. It is to create a knowledge base laced with humor, a reference point for those seeking answers on their journey.

I am building a team of champions. That team starts with my family and extends to states east, west, north and south. I connect with people and my desire is to help them be successful in reaching their goals. One of the tools I use outside of my own rhetoric and experience, is Advocare. Elite sports and wellness nutrition and a proven solution.

On a daily basis I meet new people, through friends and friends of friends. We may never meet physically, but in most cases we quickly bond as I learn of their dreams and of the fears that get in the way.

As I build this blog, the names of my challengers will remain anonymous; You may recognize yourself. Honestly you are not alone and the chances of it actually being you, are Slim (and I am not talking about the amazing garcinia cambogia Advocare supplement, that my friends was my first shameless SEO driven plug.) Instead, recognize that we are all fighting a very similar fight, which is to break free of self imposed limitations, to look better, feel better and perform better. In short to be the best version of ourselves that we can possibly be. Unfortunately, we have to wade through a whole bunch of crap, comparisons and self doubt before we can even get to the parking lot of our ideal self.

So I hope you enjoy this blog, I will do my best to provide value and respect your time…but if you don’t like what I say, or you don’t agree with it, you may comment, as long as it is constructive, well written and said with grace. If not, I will delete it. I don’t have time for negativity, the rule of thumb, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. You surely have not reached the end of the internet by the time you stumble upon this blog. With that, I will say goodnight. Time to take some phenomenal omegaplex and settle down for the night with my family.  Shameless plug, number 2.